In Porn We Trust by Weird Uncle Betty (Review)

What is one supposed to think of an album titled In Porn We Trust? I must admit a small amount of trepidation (call me a prude if you will) when I put this in the player. I didn’t know if I’d be subjected to 12 songs that were nothing more than the extension of some band’s collective libido, or if the title was just some sort of clever, subversive tactic meant to draw you in with the promise of something a little, say, randy and then proceed to be something completely different. But after listening to this album several times, the album appears to be neither one nor the other.

I’m sure my mom is going to love this, but for an album titled In Porn We Trust, there’s little, if any shocking content. Oh, there are samples of heavy breathing and a few “Ooh“ ‘s and “Aah“ ‘s that probably came from one of your low-rent Cinemax movies. And though the song titles (“Sexorama,” “Shemale Thunder,” etc.) may prepare one for the worst, rest assured, you can listen to the entire album and not have to worry about your virgin ears.

In fact, I’m really struck by how surprisingly tame and ordinary the entire album is. Essentially, you get 12 tracks of techno/dance music in the vein of Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim, and every other band part of that whole electronica trend that seems to have already crested. Take really fast beats played ad nauseam until one’s head is about to explode, some distort-o-matic bass, an occasional vocal hook, shake well, and ba-da-bing, you’ve got something guaranteed to shake booties across the nation. That, or sound really cool in one of those “extreme sports” specials you might catch on ESPN-2. Techno music and snowboarding… a match made in heaven.

And that might be all fine and dandy in the club or on the slopes, but active listeners will be really bored. It gets a little interesting towards the end, particularly on “Sticky Fingerz,” with a nice atmospheric bridge and some actual variation throughout the song. “I’m The Doctor” incorporates some nice slap bass and distorted vocals and “Pure Hardcore” manages to live up its name, musically-speaking, with some really heavy distortion and hard beats. Actually, most of the songs sound pretty cool for the first minute or so, but after that, you realize the formula isn’t going to change at all for the rest of the song.

I am glad that there was no shocking content, that I wasn’t forced to sit through 49 minutes of porn samples, or the musical equivalent of a dirty, “pull my finger” joke. But in some ways, I think sitting through 49 minutes of formulaic electronic dance music is just as bad. It’s been said that if you’ve seen one porno, you’ve seen them all. That pretty much sums up the impression I got from In Porn We Trust.