The Wit and Wisdom of Jack Burton

Jack Burton

Recently, a thread has been circulating on the Arts and Faith forum about guilty pleasures — you know, the movies that you ought to be ashamed for loving, but you love so much that it just doesn’t matter. For me, guilty pleasures have always included films like The Last Boy Scout and The Long Kiss Good Night. Both are as vulgar as you could imagine, and completely over the top, and even though I know I should be watching Tarkovsky or Bresson, I’d just as soon watch either one of those.

Then someone mentioned Big Trouble in Little China, and I just had to smack my forehead for not having mentioned it sooner. I’m not a huge John Carpenter fan, but I love this film with a love that borders on obsessive. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen this film, but even perusing through the quotes over on IMDb had me laughing out loud. I mean, just take a look at these classics:

Jack Burton: Ok, you people! Sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.

Jack Burton: Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, “Give me your best shot. I can take it.”

Wang Chi: Here’s to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here’s to America’s colors, the colors that never run.

Jack Burton: May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.

Eddie: Chinese have a lot of Hells.

And then there’s my favorite (for now)…

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”

Of course, it helps if you can imagine Kurt Russell saying that with a sneer and swagger. Which elevates it to pure cinematic genius, IMHO.

As a little added bonus this Sunday afternoon, I leave you with the movie’s trailer.

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