The Oscars Are Starting

Tear em a new one Chris Rock.

Alright, some post-Oscar thoughts…

The pre-show red carpet segments are easily some of the most vapid and useless television ever broadcast.

I actually enjoyed Chris Rock quite a bit. He was obviously nervous a couple of times, and when I think about it, he actually wasn’t onscreen very much (the Academy must’ve felt like they needed to keep him under wraps). However, some of his jokes were just brilliant, poking fun at Jude Law, Michael Moore, George Bush, etc. His Tim Robbins joke was one of the best moments of the night (and kudos to Robbins for taking it so well).

What was it with all of the male actors who came out from behind the curtain? Al Pacino, Sean Penn, Pierce Brosnan, etc. all looked like they had a little something to puff on before coming to the stage. I think everyone got their fill of Beyonce last night.

And yes, I got choked up during the memorial sequence, just like I always do.

I wish Prince would’ve let out a scream, done the splits, or done something else Prince-ish while he was up there. Harry Knowles said it best: “Wouldn’t you love for him to honestly speak about the quality of these songs? He’s so bored up there. This really underlines how uncool these songs are by having PRINCE present the award.”

On a similar note, I wish Samuel L. Jackson would’ve dropped at least one f-bomb, and damn the FCC.

Speaking of the FCC, how many people took offense to those racy JC Penny commercials? Or the back of Hilary Swank’s dress?

Jamie Foxx’s daughter is the cutest thing ever.

Clint Eastwood looks like he’s carved out of solid oak.

And Martin Scorcese… he’s the Susan Lucci of the Academy Awards. Always a nominee, never a winner. Is there any justice in this world?