Fresh from McSweeney’s: “A Letter to His Imperial Majesty, Aslan.”
So, anyway, here’s what we’re getting at: Send us a hero. Send us a grownup. Send us someone capable of understanding the complex economic structure underlying Narnia, of understanding why destroying our mines is not exactly a major plus. Just stop sending us kids. And consider this message urgent. We understand that something called a last battle might be coming up soon, and we’re a bit afraid that if you send us any more helpful kids they’ll end up destroying our entire world. Sure, we could end up in some perfect magical mirror of it, but what are the chances of that?