It’s easy to be snarky about the news that Disney is planning to remake Condorman, one of the lesser-known films in their archive. Several other Disney films are slated to be remade, too, including The Black Hole and The Rocketeer, but those seem like halfway plausible projects. Both of those films were solid enough originally, and have plenty of material for a decent director to craft into something really cool. But Condorman?!
The 1981 movie was as corny and cheesy as all get-out. Of course, that didn’t stop me from loving it as a kid. When I saw the Condorcar chase scene (see below), I was convinced I had just seen the pinnacle of modern filmmaking. But Condorman was such a product of the ’80s, especially with the Cold War plot about a defecting Soviet spy, that bringing it into the 21st century feels wrong — unless you worked really hard to keep the dated silliness intact, that is. But given that the remake’s emphasis would be on being more action-packed, and that Disney wants Robert Pattinson (the Twilight movies) for the lead role, I’m thinking silliness is the last thing on their minds.
Of course, we live in a day and age that is producing an honest to goodness Hungry Hungry Hippos movie, so really, all bets are off at this point.