In one of his books, Phillip Yancey mentions a phone hotline in California that people could call and leave confessions. This site is the on-line equivalent.
I suppose there’s some sort of voyeuristic thrill to be had reading other people’s darkest confessions. And I suppose some might find these humorous, because some are so over-the-top that they have to be made up. Or at least I hope so, especially when I read something like this. Or this. Or this. Or this. The sad thing is, it wouldn’t really surprise me if they did turn out to be true.
But the longer I looked at the site, the more sobering it became. If even a mere fraction of these confessions are true, than it’s a poignant reminder of just how many broken, empty, and starving people are out there. And I’m one of them (no matter how much I can convince myself otherwise).
Scrolling through the pages, there was always one confession that contained a familiar doubt, thought, struggle, or weakness. Regardless of whether they were true or not, some confessions hit especially close to home:
- “I can never seem to say what I really mean or feel, even if I really want to.”
- “i used to be able to think really clearly about things. not anymore.”
- “i’m so tired of being a fuck up !”
- “it depresses me every day that life is essentially pointless, and much of it will be spent laboring merely to survive another pointless day. Why does anyone bother?”
- “I’m a really nice guy.…but sometimes when someones really bugs me…i just want to pound the *CRAP* out of them…then.…maybe I’ll feel better.…”
- “I’m almost 28 and I haven’t done anything worthwhile with my life at all yet.”
- “After years of contemplation, I really think that I may be an athiest. It scares me alot.”
I could very well have written any of those at some point in time. Heck, I could’ve written over half of them today alone.
I wonder if, deep down inside, the most human desire of all isn’t for sex or power… rather, it’s to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we can be truly forgiven and made right.