The Most Soul-Destroying Baby Names of 2012

Naming your child is a big deal, and I can understand the desire to give him or her a unique and interesting name. But really, “Kaixin” or “Donathan”? And who names their baby girl “Ace”?

It’s bad enough when people name a boy Ace. Ace the boy has long bangs and the world’s most punchable face. Ace the girl is stuck with a name that screams out to the world, “Daddy wanted a boy, and he wanted that boy to be a fighter pilot.”

I remain unconvinced that people who give kids names like “Zealand” and “Burger” really have their offspring’s best interests at heart.